posting on lj
A Withered Sakura can still Rebloom
Desperate is the sadist with no face
Give back the days when you licked away at the vanilla cream
The days before you realized that the cream had already melted away
The spring months taste so much different than autumn, don't they?
Fall brought on the rotting sakura with petals equally as vulgar
That tree didn't die just because I longed for winter
For when the next year came, the sky was again dressed in ivory
Even though your blossoms are painted with winter's sorrow,
You can rebloom again, just as you always have
And the girl who never looked upon your blooming any differently,
Has missed you less and less with each passing season
I can finally laugh freely under the gray-scale sky
I wasted so much time under that same sakura I had begun to forget that...
The soft falling ivory may have at one time, lit my eyes.
But just as the wind would pick up, they'd drift away
and now I'm alone in the heavens with a sweet vanilla cream at hand
and even when the cream is gone,
I'll still be able to smile at its memory.
Not every blossom is born such a vanilla ivory
but I've become sure that this sakura's wilted buds will one day, bloom.
I can't seem to catch these stay-still images
Dreaming of something that can so possibly belong to me
I'm teased by the flashing pink beyond the deep glass
I'm jealous of every face like mine that can't be glared upon
There's poor judgment in fixing something never broken
Only to be forced into realization
There's a calico cat in front of an open window
Even though the chance to follow a flutter is its main desire,
It stays close to what it knows safe
My dreams drift away as the cat remains at the window sill
When the most simple of emotions are looked down upon in an instant,
There's fear in discovering its relation to you
A cat's will to stay is something to be admired
A cat's will to stay is something to be cursed upon
I still contradict myself and I still regret not going after the only light offered
If this suspended silence is to remain,
Then the morning following the night will not come.
For every sakura petal that drifts without insecurity...
That same calico cat in front of that same window
Only spring brings the cherry blossoms of which the cat anticipates
And even now, that open window is an image of contradiction
Two small bells hang around the calico's neck unsure
No time to look away when the last blossom falls for the second time
So here's the final blossom you were so doubtful you'd see
Is it every bit as beautiful as you hoped?
Or has its brilliance begun to fade so soon?
A calico cat with a smashed vision
But a cat, just the same
Impossible regret in the morning of the rising sun
Oh its conceivable a rain may come and wash that blossom towards Kyoto
But so are many other things
The cat could only be happy to see that window remain closed
The rising sun that set and spread darkness across the horizon...
Just dream of the Kyoto I don't desire to see.
A cat's life is not so easily tangible, despite what it may want
Unsure bells ring as the cat leaves the window sill.
There's an uncomfortable reminder of my childhood within every falling petal
Memories like forgotten seasons....
I watched you wallowing in the clear jade waters, staring at the fade glow sun
The fear in your eyes, obvious.
Only the visual beauty of this fake landscape keeps you from taking your life.
It’s impossible to provide you that kind of comfort.
Your eyes, lost in the sky.
I watch you through a summer screen,
Everything past the screen has faded
Can I rest my hand on your shoulder without your hesitance?
My voice has become your source for memories and you just want to forget
All the innocence your mind once had, taken away by jealousy
I still cherish what I never truly had
"If my steps seem hesitant, end my life"
The desire to remain has left your voice in the seconds I stood behind the screen, waiting
I wasn't alone in destroying your innocence
I still cherish what I'll never truly have.
I spent a week with Scott, but it was much too short a week. I want a job. I want to see him again. I love him so much. I will never consider dating anyone else. He has my complete dedication. The end.